Written by: Emma Kizlauskas
1 Corinthians 6 v 1-6
When you have something against another Christian, how can you bring yourself
to go before judges who are not right with God? Why do you not let God’s
people decide who is right? Surely you know that God’s people will judge
the world. So if you are to judge the world, are you not able to judge small
cases as well? You know that in the future we will judge angels, so surely we
can judge the ordinary things of this life. If you have ordinary cases that must
be judged, are you going to appoint people as judges who mean nothing to the
church? I say this to shame you. Surely there is someone among you wise enough
to judge a complaint between believers. But now one believer goes to court against
another believer - and you do this in front of unbelievers!
Notes
What do you do when you get upset with someone? Let’s be honest - it
happens to all of us at one time or another. People wind us up, rip us off,
treat us badly, offend us, or maybe more seriously, abuse us in some way.
Depending on who it is, we act differently. Some people are easier to forgive; some people should know better, or hurt us more deeply.
Ask God to protect your heart against bitterness, anger and resentment. These things will only affect you and not the person who hurt you.
Have you jumped on the ambulance-chasing, suing everyone culture? It can be easy to be tempted to make some quick cash by suing someone, but would that make God happy if we did that?
The point is mentioned time and again about the witness to unbelievers. Your actions should be pointing the way to Jesus, and if we are falling out with people left, right and centre, then what kind of message are we giving to people who don’t know Jesus? We have a responsibility to set a good example to those around us and behave in the right way.
If you have a problem with someone today, try the following steps:
1. Talk to them about it.
2. Talk to them with someone else present.
3. Talk to someone in spiritual authority over you and ask for their wisdom.
4. Pray for the person and keep praying until your heart is right.
5. Always be quick to apologise, even if it isn’t your fault.
Prayer
Father, please help me to deal with offence in the right way, to bring everything
before you and to trust you to sort it out. Please bring wise people into
my life to help judge in situations like this. I pray for your peace and
healing to come into my particular situation. Amen
1 Corinthians 6 v 7-11
The fact that you have lawsuits against each other shows that you are already
defeated. Why not let yourselves be wronged? Why not let yourselves be cheated?
But you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do this to other believers!
Surely you know that the people who do wrong will not inherit God’s kingdom.
Do not be fooled. Those who sin sexually, worship idols, take part in adultery,
those who are male prostitutes, or men who have sexual relations with other
men, those who steal, are greedy, get drunk, lie about others, or rob - these
people will not inherit God’s kingdom. In the past, some of you were
like that, but you were washed clean. You were made holy, and you were made
right with God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our
God.
Notes
The age of 16-25 is one of the hardest in terms of living a holy life. There
are so many pressures to conform to society’s norms. It is the time
when there is the greatest potential for experimenting with romantic relationships,
sexual boundaries, alcohol and drugs.
The whole of my teenage years were really hard. I really messed up. I’d been a Christian all my life, but you wouldn’t know it to look at me. Through the encouragement of another Christian, God began to work on my heart. He forgave me for the stuff I did, gave me a new start and helped me to live a holy life.
I encourage you to really try and keep God central in your life and to pray when you feel tempted to do stuff you know is wrong. Some things might make you feel good at the time, but the guilt that comes afterwards is not worth it.
Becoming a Christian doesn’t stop you having the ability to sin, but it does give you the ability not to sin if you choose. The Holy Spirit that lives in you is the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, and if you ask him to help you in your everyday life to live for him, I promise you that he will help.
If you’ve messed up, ask God to forgive you and start again. Remember that every day is fresh with no mistakes in it.
Prayer
Lord, please help me to live a life that is worthy of the calling you’ve
put on my life. Help me to show your holiness to the world and look like one
of your disciples, rather than compromising to fit in. Amen
1 Corinthians 6 v 12-17
“I am allowed to do all things,” but all things are not good for
me to do. “I am allowed to do all things,” but I will not let anything
make me its slave. “Food is for the stomach, and the stomach for food,” but
God will destroy them both. The body is not for sexual sin but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the body. By his power God has raised the Lord from the dead
and will also raise us from the dead. Surely you know that your bodies are parts
of Christ himself. So I must never take the parts of Christ and join them to
a prostitute! It is written in the Scriptures, “The two will become one
body.” So you should know that anyone who joins with a prostitute becomes
one body with the prostitute. But the one who joins with the Lord is one spirit
with the Lord.
Notes
Verse 12 is the verse I end up quoting most when doing question and answer
sessions. There are no specific rules in the Bible to do with dating, drugs,
clubbing, etc, and those are the things that tend to be grey areas that we
desperately want answers to.
Relationships are among the biggest areas of contention in our lives, because they tend to take up so much of our attention. Is it OK to date? What if no one wants to date me? How far should I go? Can I date lots of different people?
The questions and stress are unending, but the answers in the Bible seem so sparse. It wasn’t an issue in Bible times because people got married so young –before they even got to dating age.
The best we can do is piece together common sense from all the other things we know. God wants us to keep ourselves pure for our future marriage partner, which means not having sex with people we date, whether the relationship is serious or not. That much is clear. How far you can go before that is down to conscience and common sense.
Paul says that you can do anything you want, but not everything is a good idea. Doing some things lead to other worse things. For example, getting drunk causes us to lose inhibitions and maybe do things we might regret. Therefore, it is not a good idea to get drunk. Being in a room on your own with someone you are dating might cause you to go too far. Therefore, it is a good idea to be around other people.
God has given us sense, but he has also given us his Holy Spirit to guide us and to help us make right decisions.
Prayer
Lord, please give me your wisdom to know that out of the things I want to do,
which are good and which are not. I ask that your Holy Spirit guides me.
Amen
1 Corinthians 6 v 18-20
So run away from sexual sin. Every other sin people do is outside their bodies,
but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. You should know
that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received
the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you
were bought by God for a price. So honour God with your bodies.
Notes
Imagine you are given an expensive piece of jewellery. It is irreplaceable – one
of a kind and absolutely priceless. If I owned such a thing, it would be kept
under lock and key and guarded jealously. I probably wouldn’t let people
play with it and would be proud of it. I certainly wouldn’t give it away.
God has given us a gift just like that: our virginity. He doesn’t want you to take it lightly or give it away easily. It is precious and beautiful and something to be treasured.
God’s ideal is for us to give that special gift to our future husband/wife for them to treasure. He wants us to be proud of our virginity, not to be embarrassed or ashamed. There seems to be a culture that encourages us to have sex younger and younger, and makes people feel like freaks who haven’t “done it yet”. Don’t feel pressurised into following the crowd with something as important as this.
Some of you reading this might say, “But it’s too late for me; I’ve already blown it.” What now? God is not into condemnation but restoration. He doesn’t want us to be weighed down with guilt and shame. He wants to restore you into a good relationship with him. If you recognise you’ve messed up, say sorry to God and choose to start again. Each time you wake up, remember, “Today is a new day, with no mistakes in it” and don’t make the same mistakes again.
Just because you’ve messed up once (or even a million times!) doesn’t mean you have to keep on making the same mistakes. Ask God to help you change. He can restore you spiritually and emotionally, so that in his eyes you still have your virginity to save for your potential marriage.
Prayer
Dear Lord, please help me not to treat sex lightly. Help me to remember that
my body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives, and to keep it holy for
him. Help me to always honour you with my body. Amen
1 Corinthians 7 v 1-4
Now I will discuss the things you wrote me about. It is good for a man not
to have sexual relations with a woman. But because sexual sin is a danger,
each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
The husband should give his wife all that he owes her as his wife. And the
wife should give her husband all that she owes him as her husband. The wife
does not have full rights over her own body; her husband shares them. And
the husband does not have full rights over his own body; his wife shares
them.
Notes
There is a rumour going around that God is against sex and that sex is evil.
NEWS FLASH – God loves sex! He created it, therefore it is good. What
God is against is us having sex with several different people - treating
sex lightly.
God’s ideal is for each of us to have one husband/wife and enjoy sex exclusively with them.
If everyone in the world had taken notice of God, then there wouldn’t be a worldwide epidemic of AIDS and HIV, sexual diseases wouldn’t exist and the single parent family would be a rare exception rather than the rule, as it is in many areas.
God is not a killjoy. The things he says are for our good. The funny thing about marriage is that once people are married and can have sex as often as they like, there is often reluctance on one side of the partnership or the other. So often an unmarried couple can’t keep their hands off each other, and then when they get married it all changes. These verses are challenging because God says that once you get married, your body in effect “belongs” to your partner, and if they want sex, you should give it to them. To many people it will be a shock to hear God saying that, but there it is. (Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should let your husband or wife take advantage of you – rather, that God wishes that you should enjoy each other’s bodies.)
Prayer
Lord, thank you that you created sex as a special gift. Help me to treat it
as you would wish me to and not to abuse it. Amen
1 Corinthians 7 v 5-7
Do not refuse to give your bodies to each other, unless you both agree to stay
away from sexual relations for a time so you can give your time to prayer.
Then come together again so Satan cannot tempt you because of a lack of self-control.
I say this to give you permission to stay away from sexual relations for
a time. It is not a command to do so. I wish that everyone were like me,
but each person has his own gift from God. One has one gift, another has
another gift.
Notes
It is interesting that Paul describes staying away from sex as a gift. I guess
it’s a gift that everyone who is unmarried wants and those who are
married don’t. I think it highlights one of the biggest problems in
marriage –people go into marriage thinking they will have sex all the
time, and yet suddenly when they are “allowed” to have sex, the
desire seems to disappear. I don’t very often hear of a couple that
are perfectly suited in their desires. It always seems that one has a higher
drive than the other and this can lead to problems.
Paul’s advice here is clear – don’t refuse sex to your husband and wife regularly, unless you are both agreed, because there is a chance that they will be tempted elsewhere. Most affairs are based entirely on sex, and when a person is not getting enough attention at home, it is easy to be flattered with attention somewhere else.
I know some of you reading this will not be married, but it is good advice to remember for the future. Affair-proof your marriage to the best of your ability and trust God with the rest.
Prayer
Lord, please help me in my marriage, or to prepare for a future marriage, by
reading the advice in your word that is practical and relevant for everyday
life. Amen
1 Corinthians 7 v 8-9
Now for those who are not married and for the widows I say this: It is good
for them to stay unmarried as I am. But if they cannot control themselves,
they should marry. It is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire.
Notes
This is one of those dreaded verses that most people hope doesn’t apply
to them. From when you are little, well-meaning people try to set you up with “eligible” people
of the opposite sex. The older you get, the worse the problem becomes. Every
other person is trying to match-make you with the first available singleton.
In church the problem hits epidemic proportions. It’s almost seen as
offensive to married people if you are single.
I was married at 24, so it wasn’t so bad for me, but I had friends who were still single at 30. At weddings they’re put on the “singles table”. Every time a single person popped up they were expected to go on a date straight away in case they were “the one”. They had to become serial daters just to satisfy the desires of everyone else to be married off as quickly as possible!
We are under the illusion that being married is definitely the best option, and that being single is sad, lonely and only reserved for those who are too cantankerous to keep a partner. What a load of rubbish! Paul makes it clear that being single is the best! It is not only possible to lead a fulfilled, happy life as a single person, but it is desirable with the right attitude. Just think: no one to consult with when you want to go out; you don’t have to juggle the relationship/work/church commitments; you can leave the washing up as many days as you like, sleep as much as you please and, best of all, serve God with all your heart, mind, soul and time.
However, there is no point opting for the life of a singleton if you are constantly distracted by sex. It is better, therefore, that you marry.
Prayer
Please God, help me to know if you want me to stay single. If that is part
of your plan for me, please help me to live life to the full as a single
person and to be fulfilled in you. Amen
word-on-the-web uses the Scripture text
taken from the Youth Bible, New Century Version (Anglicised Edition) copyright
1993 by Word Publishing Milton Keynes